WHAT’S WITH THE BUSINESS-SPEAK?
 It is my belief the true capital that stands the test of time is not cash, but stories. Therefore, it occurred to me that an e-zine dedicated to the proposition ‘Stories Are Our Business’ should adopt a corporate business model that treats its assets, venture capitalists and investors with the reverence and a respect any publicly traded company would, and has to continue to treat them in order to survive. For a full definition of terms, see TQRspeak above.

 

TQR META-PARADIGM
TQR is a corporate mainframe exclusive to the Internet whose mission is to maximize investor exposure to quality narratives through innovative Web platforms and in-house promotion.

WILL THE INSIDER TRADING ITEM LAND ME IN JAIL?
Let's hope not. What IT will do, however, is give you character insight into the past and current line up  of outstanding Capital Gains. For the current IT, you have to nose around A C N C on the front page a bit.

WHERE TO SEND QUESTIONS/COMPLIMENTS/BITCHES?


WHERE IS ALL THIS PUBLIC VETTING BEING DONE?

What the hell is THE FLOOR?
The Floor is where Boligard Doomey and Gabrielle DePlancher toil through the slush pile in what they have affectionately coined ‘the haunted disco’ due to numerous sightings of Chuck Bukowski’s ghost, as well as the dusty mirror ball hanging above its scuffed multi-colored glass paneled dance floor.

What the hell is THE TERMINAL
Where the assets that survive the Floor end up. The capital titles are posted therein, then discussed by the Terminal staff -- Maggie Murdoch and Hello Kitty -- and a determination, based upon those public discussions, is then made as to whether the piece ends its run in the Terminal or continues on up to the Executive Suite. Heated debate is often the norm here, and encouraged as long as they are respectful to the capital in question, and in the service of finding TQR the very best capital gains.  

What the hell is THE EXECUTIVE SUITE
Where the ultimate TQR (Theodore Q. Rorschalk) decides upon the slate of the next issue’s capital gains.  This end of quarter rumination is usually quite short in duration so that the staff can get on with answering questions of design and completing that quarter's insider tradings.

HOW MUCH DOES TQR PAY ITS VENTURE CAPITALISTS? $50 American

WHY USE PSEUDONYMS (PERSONAS) FOR TQR STAFF?
Three words: marketing, marketing, marketing. Not only is TQR after a healthy share of the ‘serious’ reading public, it also wants to appeal, in part, to gamers and/or comic book enthusiasts who enjoy ensconcing themselves in an alternate universe, where a man named Rorschalk wields the power to OK or nix a venture with a few strokes of his keyboard, thereby making a mortal enemy of his subordinate, yet equally devious, Boligard Doomey, who may attempt to exact some kind of revenge in the following quarter or quarters to come [revenge is a dish best served cold, remember]. If TQR can appeal to these people along with those who are purely capital gains enthusiasts, then market share stands to be greatly increased. 

TQR is first and foremost about capital gains, but also realizes the process of getting to that designation can be just as interesting. The use of pseudonyms also gives staff the psychological cover it needs to act in their own best, self interest without feeling too, too bad about it. The ‘real’ names of all staff members can be gleaned in the CREDITS.
 
IS TQR REAL?
That question is too philosophically enigmatic to be properly addressed in words. Instead, you should reference the 'Doorway to Hell' episode of SCTV which first aired sometime in 1981. Specifically the scene in the psychiatrist's office where Judd Hirsch (played by Eugene Levy) talks to Lin Ye Tang (Dave Thomas) and The Ventriloquist guy, Mr. Wilcox (Rick Moranis) about the nature of reality.


Grock{sic} these two examples and you are close to understanding that the question of whether TQR is real is a riddle, bounded in a nutshell, wrapped in a hot, steamy shadow on the wall.