The Bull has never served in any military service. I found myself lost within this heavy combat focused cap. Therefore, it was difficult to sort through the minutia and calibrate my bullshit meter. Knowing my deficiencies, yes, I have one or two; I sought the assistance of a colleague who has seen a fair amount of action.
This took some courage, because the Bull had to admit his lack of expertise, knowing it would lead to future ridicule. After some obligatory head butting and a promise of an undisclosed future favor, I was able to glean some useful feedback without too much personal humiliation.
There was some disconnect between the reality of warfare and the body of this cap. It was written like the imaginings of a poor ROTC cadet.
That being said, this is a work of fiction. As such, I’m willing to cut it some slack. Maybe it was meant to be set in the future. However, there are ospreys and AK 47s in it. This just left me more baffled. What was this supposed to be?
In the words of one of my earliest role models Mr. Horse; no sir, I didn’t like it.
It wasn’t solely the clumsy word choices, the stereotypical character tropes, or the thick pile of military jargon this cap is buried in; it is the lack of substantive plot it contains. It read like a first person shooter, complete with cartoon violence and punchy banter. I searched for meaning, plot, anything to redeem this. All I could find was a long buildup for a cheesy punchline.
The topic has been locked.
Re:THE SHADOW KNIGHTS
Date: 2017/07/18 15:01
"I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons." Leonard Cohen - First We Take Manhattan
There's an old CW adage goes, "Good writing should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable," the tendency, of course, being to do exactly the opposite: pander to the idiotic and, as in this Shadow Knights cap and Rocky's case, annoy the already annoyed.
For here we have Team America all gussied up in high-tech camouflage suits, sporting all manner of equally sophisticated and pricey sounding e-gadgets and smart-ordnance, attacking a small group of cave-dwelling Nigerian "terrorists" called, for reasons unclear to the Rockster (political correctness maybe), "tangos," who have (somehow) abducted and are holding prisoner one of their own. After perfunctorily and graphically murdering every tango encountered, Team America rescues the "nearly raped" but otherwise unharmed Joan Goldman, who, it turns out, used to be in a romantic relationship with one of them.
"They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom." Or, in this instance, what seemed like twenty pages.
Awash in yet another deluge of acronyms and tech spec, Rocks drifts off... Now, if it were a ragtag group of well trained tangos attacking, say, a detention camp in Cuba where hundreds of their fellow tangos, including minors, are being held hostage and tortured in what Amnesty International considers a major breech of human rights... yes, maybe then...