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THE WORST GAME OF BASEBALL EVER PLAYED
Date: 2018/03/20 18:33 By: bulldust Status: Admin  
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I will admit, the Bullmeister is not the greatest spectator sports enthusiast. I’d much rather play the game than watch it. However, given the circumstance, watching a game is not out of the question.

The Bulldog has been to a couple of baseball games in his life. He didn’t even get drunk to the point of embarrassment. Instead, he breathed in the fresh New York smog and enjoyed the monotonous Zen of our national pastime. However, never in my sportsing have I ever come across a game like the one in “The Worst Game of Baseball Ever Played”.

This cap starts out as a bad date at a shitty ball game, with a shittier announcer. During the first few pages, the antagonist is pondering ending the relationship with his girlfriend. It gets to the point where his girlfriend, Isabella, has had enough and decides to leave. The cap’s main character decides he’s tortured Isabelle enough and is about to leave with her. However, one of the fans has gotten out of control and kicks a woman in her face after spilling beer on her child. So our guy throws him into some office dudes, and all hell breaks out. All throughout the chaos, the announcer is spewing his tasteless commentary.

A riot explodes resulting in death, rape, dismemberment, and our dude is now fighting his way out of the stadium. The whole time, the commentator seems to be speaking about his actions. He escapes and turns on the radio to hear the same commentator describing violence and terror throughout the city.

It’s getting dark as the guy then drives towards his home. Now people are completely out of control. They are crashing into each other, shooting, looting, and essentially losing their minds. He stops at the site of an accident and tries to offer assistance.

This is where the Bull gets lost. Up to this point, I was fully into the insanity of this cap. It was madness, darkness, and insanity. The commentator, the violence, it was pretty good.

But I was disenfranchised on the final page. Now we have deep, finger-eating shadows. This cap stood on its own without this Steven Kingesk, The Mist-like addition. This completely threw me off. The cap did not need this supernatural addition.

The final line was very good, “Nearby an explosion reverberated through the air and through the ground but the light of its fireball failed to illuminate us.”

Despite the caps merits, I have to say no. Lose shadow thing on the last page and leave it as an example of human savagery and you have a winner. But I think that shadows took away from it. Of course, Rocks may feel otherwise.
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Re:THE WORST GAME OF BASEBALL EVER PLAYED
Date: 2018/03/21 13:32 By: rockefeller Status: Admin  
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Rocks seems to remember at least three other baseball subs. In one, a scout is sent to Cuba to check out a hot new pitcher, who turns out to be Castro. In another, criminals are strapped to the scoreboard and executed via long balls. Then there was one that began with some guy crabbing off a dock, who'd just caught something interesting, but then you never find out what because he's shot and a lot of baseball stuff takes over. For a really boring sport, baseball sure seems to turn up a lot in literature. Maybe stop sending up baseball cap. Maybe even add it to our guidelines here: No more baseball stories. It's probably impossible to write a good baseball story. Even Field of Dreams sucked. Though golf is probably worse.

Anyway, in this Worst Game Ever cap, some guy drags his girlfriend to a game. So at first Rocks thought it was a relationship study. Their bickering reminded him a little of his first marriage and how its wheels came off, and maybe about half his relationships since, only not as funny. But then that dynamic is left in the wind and it becomes an angry apocalyptic ditty. A "Down with the club!" piece. An "Off with their heads!" thing. An announcer's interjections dominate the narrative. Rage and humor don't work nearly as well together as sadness and humor, thinks Rocks, otherwise it'd probably be funnier. The rape and fight parts seemed unnecessarily prolonged, wanted to kind of jump genre into some sort of supernatural action piece, and didn't really fly for Rocks.

But the prose is technically fine (although "further" generally refers to conceptual distances, and "farther" to physical ones), the voice sharp, and Rocks (thinks he) gets, and kind of likes, what the VC was going for: presenting this surreal shitty ballgame as a metaphor for a society and world that isn't far if at all removed from the fuckedupedness of today's. Still, Rocks concurs with the Bullmeister here. Nice swing, but, You're out!
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