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A MAN’S CRIME
Date: 2018/06/12 20:23 By: bulldust Status: Admin  
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Moo.

That’s always a good place to start. Sometimes you just have to get back to basics. Moo is good. It reminds me of my roots. Long warm days in the pasture, enjoying the tranquility that only country life has to offer. I remember a virtually drama-free existence.

Yeah, there were hicks. There will always be hillbillies of one kind or another around. The deer would come fuck with us on a continual basis, always mocking our domestication.

Their seemingly lawless lifestyle was mesmerizing to me as a calf. I longed to traverse the plains, living without bounds. They were free and wild, but more frequently than us, they were walking meals for predators.

Reality set in as soon as I saw the first chewed up carcass at the outskirts of the farm.

“A Man’s Crime” is a cap about conflicting societies butting up against each other. On one hand, we have a modern town trying to exist under the rule of law, on the other hand on the outskirts of town there is mountain justice. Conflict arises when the two cultures collide upon the commission of a rape on Big John’s daughter.

From the beginning, the disparity is clear. We start with a man hunt through the woods. The cap feels like a historical piece as if it could have taken place one-hundred and fifty years ago, but soon we are thrust back into the present, as we arrive in Blacktop, WV. There we find ourselves in a modern town, complete with pickups and route 9. (The Bullmeister remembers route 9 fondly from the days of his excursions to the flea market in Harpers Ferry. It is beautiful country.)

There is good conflict and tension. However, the plot builds to a point where you expect to go somewhere and you are cut off. When the cap ended, I found myself disappointed that there was no resolution. I would never get closure. Maybe that was the point of the cap, ongoing conflict without resolution. Maybe that’s what Sheriff Walleye was looking to finally end.

There were a few minor formatting problems, but nothing terrible. And I will say this, there were eight incidents of the word bitch. This got me truly excited, but disappointment set in when I realized they were just referring to a canine.

The Bull is admittedly torn on this. It is well written and the cap has a distinct style to it. The lack of resolution annoyed this guy, but it is understandably intentional. So the Bullster is leaning towards yes. Let’s see what the Rocks thinks.
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Re:A MAN’S CRIME
Date: 2018/06/13 18:17 By: rockefeller Status: Admin  
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It was in the pre-dawn hour that Sheriff Walleye came upon the boy huddled against a rock face deep in the woods. He took a moment to be thankful that he struck out with his two deputies earlier than was coordinated with the rest of the search party.

Stumbling in the opening doesn't bode well. Maybe "rockface" (or "rock-face") so it doesn't read "face-deep in the woods," and definitely "he had struck out... earlier than had been coordinated..." Exchanging "earlier than was coordinated with" for simply "before" would've just been a kindness. Rocks gets that the setting supports a garrulous sort of imprecision, but right out of the gate like this, it kind of caught him off guard.

Took a while to figure out whose side the sheriff was on. There are probably laws against mutilating dead bodies. At this point, Rocks wasn't sure if the Sheriff was just bluffing or actually a dumb-ass.

The hook (i.e., What'd this kid do that has everyone so stirred up?) was good. Kept 15 pages turning until, finally, "He was talking about Ellen, Big John’s daughter – the girl who was brutally beaten and raped three days ago in the pasture just outside their property line.

This bit here gave Rocks pause: "They sunk viciously into the Sheriff’s arm," not for the "sunk" (which is probably a voice thing) but because of how quickly it's followed by, "but his teeth didn’t sink in much past the fabric of his shirt..." Like which is it?

I didn’t do nothin.” This colloquial double negative rises to annoying motif well before its final invocation.

Pretty obviously to Old Rockface (and, eventually, the sheriff), the kid's innocent, and it was Big John done brutally raped and beat his own kin (probly for foolin around with the kid) and the kid's just his Oswald. That's why BJ had no innerest in hearin what she might'a had'ta say if'n her mouth ever got to workin right agin... or she ever learnt'a write. But instead of BJ's gettin caught by the good sheriff and enjoyin some of his own fine mountain justice, he makes off with the kid who probably dies horribly. So, despite this being an okay yarn with some okay characters and credible voice, and even though he can see why Young Bullhorn's leanin' favorably towards it, he hisself hasta say no. Close, but not quite.
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Re:A MAN’S CRIME
Date: 2018/06/23 16:42 By: tqr Status: Admin  
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[The Rorschalk, up from the lower decks of the Floor and his date with vomitous seasickness and the fulcrum of the mizzenmast, notes the quandary of the Bull's can kicking and Rockefeller's close but no cigar.

So, like Agent Cooper's shamanistic detection methods, where coincidence and intuition trump cold, hard facts (sometimes), the old blue hair's eyes fall upon the crux of the matter of this sordid tale of serecide! ...]

Heark, it was Leland, in the train car with a wrench!

Aye, gentleman and wild domestic beast ... I'll not re-hash the plot points of Twin Peaks to sum again the tabloid mania that gripped the country ere 25 years ago today!


Who killed Laura Palmer?

Adieu, adieu parting is such suite sorrow I must say.

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