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LAST NIGHT_rejected, with flowers
Date: 2018/01/18 02:06 By: deplancher Status: Admin  
Karma: 14  

Posts: 1510
Hello, Mlle Aglat.

Merci beaucoup for your recent submission, Last Night, for our consideration.

There's a spark here, a quirky and lively presentation of a future world that's appealing to this reader and I'm pleased it was I who had the pleasure of reading Last Night.

This piece is not yet ready for a ride on the TQR processing machine but has, um...future potential. I encourage you to have another go, paying attention especially to pacing and transitions. The unfolding of events flows well at the start, (narrative in control) but as the plot progresses the engagement falters. It may have been your intention to have the narrative reflect the panic your protagonist felt in deciding bravely to break out of his fated 'sentence', but as a reader it came across as rushing to the conclusion of the piece.

Please don't be discouraged. Nobody's perfect but we must ask that our storymakers (Venture Capitalists) aspire to be so. It's our demanding nature.

You've a voice. We'll hear it again in future submissions.

Thank you for your interest in TQR, where we're always interested in the writer within you.


G. DePlancher
The Floor - TQR

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.

A Bluelight Dancer/Not a Pocketbook Romancer
of The Floor
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