The Bull is finally warming up from the snap of winter weather he had to endure. It was a warm, breezy day here in the Gulf coast, so I went outside to hunt down lunch. Being a prey animal, this is Kind of outside of my comfort zone, the hunting part; but it worked out okay. I found myself some hipster lunch, an overpriced smoothie and a hummus platter served with bagged veggie chips and what seemed to be fresh made hummus. It’s so hard to tell. A brigade of shinny hip-chicks scurried around the kitchen for twenty minutes, preparing this feast. I wouldn’t have been as disappointed, had they not stuck the box into the bag sideways. When I got back to my corral, the chips and hummus were a mash in the corner of the box. It tasted okay. But all the chips were broken. Leaving me little to get my teeth into.
This brings me to our current capital – “Teeth”.
There’s a lot of weirdness going on with this. There is a bodyguard, a robot bodyguard, some panther things and a Leopard Lady. There are some mystical teeth that kill people and Balthazar may or may not have something to do with it.
Grammatically, there were a few misplaced commas. There are little minor things that could have been grammar checked away. But none of that is a huge deal.
I’m still pondering the premise of this cap. It has a dreamy quality, yet it is somewhat disjointed. The ending came out of nowhere. After reading this twice, I still found myself saying “huh”?
I don’t know. It’s weird, but it stuck with me. Something tells me I should say no, but there is something about it. I’m torn. I would say if my colleague Rocks agrees, we send it up and see what the big guy thinks.
The topic has been locked.
Date: 2018/02/20 20:23
When Rocks was 7 or 8, some asshole orthodontist decided he needed braces. In the 5+ years Rocks sat/lay being tortured in the good doctor's office, he never once overheard a single parent being told that their offspring's teeth were okay. It was always, "Not only will little Johnny be too hideously unattractive to continue your bloodline, but, if we do not straighten his teeth he will probably starve to death." Seemed to work every time, too. No one called bullshit. So there Rocks was. Bad was when they jammed glass rods blood-lettingly deep into Rocks' ears in order to immobilize his head during protracted X-ray sessions that surely planted the seeds of brain cancer. But even worse was their having Rocks' sadistic dentist (Doctor Bleck [really, Doctor Bleck]) extract both his left and right maxillary lateral incisors, which each involved two needles in the roof of Rocks' mouth that seemed to poke clear up through his sinuses into his eye (and left him thenceforth appearing as a cry-baby with fangs). So fuck you, Doctor Polanski. And fuck you, Doctor Bleck (seriously, Bleck). Even though you're both probably dead now, fuck you. And fuck your teeth.
Speaking of teeth, Rocks overall liked this cap. It throws off sort of a mature comic book vibe. Begins with the MC, B, a fabulously wealthy, mad inventor archetype, walking a pair of panthers with his bodyguard, Wayne. It confused Rocks a little that Wayne appears to have cuckolded his boss, resulting in Mrs. B's now near-term pregnancy, but that there are no hard feelings, like it was just part of his job or something. So when it's revealed that the "Teeth" (seen by Rocks to be some sort of childhood boogeyman escaped from nightmareland) have gnawed the still-living fetus from Mrs. B, killing her, and hidden it, B is very determined to recover it. There follows a kind of scavenger hunt with clues from B's largely suppressed childhood memories. It's these dark, Freudian themes that appealed the most, but that also make the ending, in which B encounters and then happily follows an equally sad & lonely & withdrawn looking hottie walking a pair leopards, seem like it had wandered onto the wrong story. Made Rocks go, Whaaaaaaa? Still, it's worth another gander. Yeah, okay Bully Boy, let's send her up the flagpole, see if the Monkey salutes.